


in your arms

by marvelinsanity



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cliche, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Marvel Universe, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:02:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27988911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelinsanity/pseuds/marvelinsanity
Summary: the avengers are called to disaster-torn syria to provide medical relief to those affected by the recent earthquake and carry out a search-and-rescue mission for the missing. as both a superhero and former SHIELD nurse, you’re always prepared for what’s to come—but this event in particular leaves you shaken and you’re not sure how to handle your distress. luckily, steve's by your side this time—as he always is.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25





	in your arms

**Author's Note:**

> ok this is an old tumblr fic of mine and it is heavily inspired by the kdrama 'descendants of the sun'! some dialogue credits go to its producers. &i highly recommend that you go and watch it if you're a kdrama fan, it's literally so adorable ugh

_7.5 MAGNITUDE EARTHQUAKE ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF ALEPPO. HUNDREDS FEARED DEAD OR MISSING_

Phil Coulson had a grim look on his face as he clicked through the slideshow displaying images of crumbling buildings, children clinging to their parents as they shielded themselves from the ash-filled air, debris littering the streets and those unfortunate enough to have been trapped beneath the rubble struggling to escape.

You anxiously looked down and picked at your nails, unable to look up at the projector screen any longer. Steve noticed your discomfort and decided to intervene.

“Okay. That’s enough.”

Phil nodded, and the images disappeared.

“I’ve arranged for one of the STRIKE helicarriers to fly you guys out tonight,“ Phil stated. “Be ready. You’ll be leaving at 7:00, right after dinner.”

“Agent Coulson, sir,” Sam spoke, “could you first explain to us _what_ exactly we’re doing?”

“You’re partnering with the Red Cross and the army to provide disaster relief to those affected. You may be stationed for anywhere between two weeks to two months, depending on how successful things go. Does anyone have any more questions?”

“No, sir,” everyone replied in unison.

“Alright, then. Meeting dismissed.”

You were silent throughout the entirety of dinner, and the silence continued as you began packing your bags. Steve watched you as he leaned against your doorframe for a few moments before coming over to help you pack.

“Are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah,” you yawned as you handed him a pair of jeans and he folded it for you, “just tired.”

“We both know that’s not the only thing bothering you,” he sighed. “Tell me what’s up.”

“I haven’t been in the operating field in over five years. If I mess up—then all those deaths are on me. I can’t live with the fact knowing I did my best, yet I still failed to save someone.”

“You’re going to do just fine,” the super-soldier reassured you. “If there’s anything I’m more sure about, it’s that you’ll do your job and you’ll do it well.”

“I hope so.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

Maybe it was the consequences of hardly sleeping finally catching up to you, because you were completely dead inside by the time you headed to the hangar bay and boarded the helicarrier. You had no energy left to even open your mouth to speak, resting your head against Steve’s shoulder and dozing off immediately.

If you thought what the news channels showed was bad, the sight you were greeted with as you stepped down the ramp was a hundred times worse. Agonized cries of young and injured children crying out as they searched for their missing parents, a mother frantically trying to calm down her wailing infant. You couldn’t take another step without coming across bits and pieces of debris that fell as a result of the earthquake, coughing every so often from the dust blowing around.

Wanda handed you a piece of cloth and you gratefully accepted, having it serve as a makeshift mask, covering the base of your nose and entirety of your mouth.

“Thank goodness you guys arrived in time,” a breathless Maria Hill came up to you. “Wanda, Y/N, Barnes, Cap, I need you two to carry out the second search-and-rescue operation. We’re suspecting that there’s still more survivors trapped under.”

“How many?” you questioned.

“I don’t know...but we’re estimating about a dozen. Medbay’s almost completely full so you guys’ll need to work as fast as you can.”

Six hours later, and you’d barely managed to lift five of the twelve people back up to safety. Even with Wanda’s combined powers of telekinetic manipulation, lifting heavy stones worth several tons was an extremely difficult task. It was only when you and Steve stepped into help that they budged slightly. Your shoulders ached immensely and sweat poured down your dirt-streaked face. The cut on your upper arm from a sharp edge of concrete stung but you kept going nonetheless, knowing you couldn’t simply stop what you were doing, or someone would most certainly end up dead as a result of your carelessness.

Another two hours later, you fortunately managed to find the last two people amongst the mess of ash and stone.

But there was a small, no major—problem.

One man was trapped as he was impaled by a long strip of scrap metal; narrowly missing his heart, while another was trapped underneath a slab of concrete.

If the medical team lifted the slab to save him, it would release the scrap metal trapping the other, ultimately cutting him in half. Freeing the impaled man meant dropping the slab all the way, thus, crushing the legs of the man stuck underneath.

“You have ten minutes to decide. You have the final say in who lives, Y/N,” Steve informed you.

“Are you _seriously_ telling me to choose who to save right now?”

“We have no other choice.”

“But…”

_“Ten minutes,_ Y/N,” he repeated, before turning around to leave and help Bucky.

So after a long ten minutes of internally arguing with yourself, you finally stepped up to tell Wanda and the others your decision.

“The plan of rescue is…”

<><><><><><><><><><>

Spending all day underground and rarely ever stopping to drink water was beginning to take its toll on you. Your vision was blurring at the edges and you couldn’t stare in one direction for longer than a minute before you began to see double of whatever was in front of you. It could’ve just been the heat, but your body was producing abnormal amounts of sweat and you swore you could’ve burned your hand if you kept your palm against your forehead any longer. 

You crossed your arms tightly over your blood-splattered shirt as you watched soldiers milling around from tent to tent and wrapped up for the day.

You’d willingly let one die so the other could live. While you knew there was no other viable option, guilt still clawed at your insides, settling heavily in the pit of your stomach. You knew the man trapped underneath was already suffering, and therefore had a lesser chance of survival. But that didn’t stop you from feeling guilty.

“Please don’t look at me,” you muttered. You didn’t need to turn around to notice Steve approaching you from behind. “Aren’t there any dark and shady places around here?”

Steve didn’t listen, and stepped around so he could look at you, concern evident in the expression he wore.

“No, there isn’t. Then, should I try my best at being ‘shady?’” he exhaled, offering a small smile.

You cracked a small grin before glancing back down at your feet.

“You did well today,” he complimented.

You didn’t respond, swallowing hard and squeezing your eyes shut as more tears slipped down your cheeks.

He tilted his head slightly, brows furrowing with worry. “I need to hear your answer so that I can wipe your tears. Just look at me for a moment.”

You reached up to hastily wipe at your eyes before finally looking up to meet his softened gaze. Steve then held a finger up and you looked in the direction he was pointing to see the starry night sky; like a beautiful contrast of a million tiny diamonds scattered across an ebony cloth.

“Wow, how shameless,” you breathed out, “Without knowing what the ground did…”

“I thought it would’ve been comforting…”

“I’ve already received consolation from you, Captain.”

The super-soldier took another glance at the sky, then back at you before you spoke again.

“Thanks for, um…helping me out there,” you began, “if you weren’t there today…I might’ve run away.”

“If you have plans to run away, take me with you. You know, running away…is more fun when a man and woman do it together.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips at his suggestion, and you nodded. And even as you looked away from him to admire the sky once more, his unwavering gaze on you did not fall.

“Yeah, it is.”

He took a step forward, reaching up to cup your cheek with one hand and gently wiping at your eyes with the tip of his thumb. You were shaking at this point, maybe from the lack of balance you had over your body or because you’d started crying again. You didn’t have the energy left to flinch at the sudden contact or turn away from him and instead, stayed still.

“Hey, c’mere,” he muttered, reaching an arm to encircle it around your waist.

“Steve, no—” you struggled against his grip but eventually gave up a few seconds later, knowing that fighting against a super-soldier was hopeless.

“I’m not gonna take no as an answer, sweetheart. Come here,” he repeated, stopping to scan your face for a moment before pulling you against him. A part of your consciousness screamed at you to pull away as soon as he did so, that this wasn’t right and you didn’t have any time to stand around like this. But at the same time, you didn’t ever _want_ him to let go. You choked on a sob. “You’re gonna tell me what’s going on right now because I can’t stand here and watch you fall apart, and not do anything about it.”

Your voice caught in your throat as you tried to speak. “I tried so hard to save everyone. I really did. But I couldn’t—”

“This job,” Steve murmured, “we try to save as many people as we can. Sometimes that doesn’t mean everybody. But if we can’t find a way to live with that, then next time…maybe nobody gets saved.”

“I know, but…still…I couldn’t save them all, and I can’t help but feel—”

“You did your best to save everyone. I know you did. And sometimes, that’s the best you can do. It’s the effort that counts.”

It was relatively quiet as he held you there, bodies swaying gently to the sounds of the evening breeze and chirping crickets. And the longer he held you for, the more of the spite and frustration pent up inside your body began to fade. When he embraced you, all the anger and guilt washed away.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Your arm’s bleeding,” he pointed out as pulled away from you and noticed the crimson blood spreading across the top of your shirt, “How’d this happen?”

“I…caught it on a piece of scrap metal as I was down there.”

“We should get that checked out.”

You winced as he lightly pressed a hand to your shoulder to gauge the severity of the wound. “I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. This cut’s pretty deep. You’ll need stitches.”

“I’ll just do it myself.”

“No. Just let me care for you this once, alright? You’ve been on your feet all day. You deserve a break.”

He wrapped an arm around your waist and helped lead you back to the medbay where the rest of the team was awaiting with Maria. 

“Y/N! I was just about to send Nat to go get you,” Wanda exclaimed as she approached you, “are you alright? You’re bleeding!”

“Don’t worry, I’m fine,” you chuckled. “It’s just a scratch.”

“It’s _not_ just a scratch,” Steve corrected. “Come on. Let’s go get that treated.”

You were led to the back of the room, sitting down on the edge of a cot as Wanda rolled over the cart of medical supplies. 

“You’re a doctor?” you questioned as you watched Steve lay out the necessary materials on the table next to your bed. “I didn’t know that.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, Y/N,” he chuckled. “Back in the army, they had us take a crash course on treating basic injuries in the case that something like this happened. It’s always good to be prepared.”

“Wow. America’s golden boy not only knows how to fight, but is also a part-time doctor? That’s nice—ow!” You let out a hiss of pain as the needle pierced your skin. “Could you please be a little more gentle there…”

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I’ll try and be more careful.”

Several more minutes passed in silence before you spoke up again.

“I bet you have plenty of girls purposely getting injured and falling at your feet just so they could be treated by you.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You know, that’s also tons of potential girlfriend options for you right there. Why don’t you pick one of them to take out to a nice dinner or something? You’re in your thirties, and honestly, I can’t think of a better time to date than now, if you aren’t already married.”

“Why would I do that? I already have my eye on someone else.”

“Then how come you haven’t made a move?”

“I’ve been as obvious as I could possibly be,” he explained as he finished stitching you up, and you leaned back against the bed, “but I’m not sure she gets of my signs. Besides, I don’t have time for relationships.”

“Why not? Is it just because you’re a superhero?”

“No. She’s, well, how do you put it…out of my league.”

“Excuse me?” You raised an eyebrow in shock. “A woman, out of Steve Rogers’ league? If anything, it should be the other way around. Why would you think that? What makes her so special?”

“For starters…” he exhaled as he took a cotton ball and gently began dabbing at the small cuts on your face, “she’s a badass.”

“Language,” you laughed lightly. “Go on.”

“I think that’s what I admire most about her; her fearlessness. It doesn’t matter what events are thrown at her, she handles them well and with ease. She makes everything she does look easy, when in fact, her job is anything but. And she always knows how to make you laugh. It doesn’t matter how bad of a mood you’re in, she’ll find a way to get you rolling around on the ground within minutes—even if everything’s falling apart around her, she manages to keep it together. She always chooses the path of righteousness, no matter what it costs her...she willingly lays down her life for others; despite knowing she may die in her line of work, she does everything with passion.”

“Her…job?”

“I think both you and I know who I'm talking about.”

Your heart stopped as you put two and two together and realized it was you.

“I’m not that special, Cap,” you mumbled. 

"You are, to a lot more people than you think. Especially to me.”

By the time he spoke those last three words, you’d fallen asleep. 

He let his head fall into his hands with a sigh. Right as he’d worked up the courage to confess his feelings, you weren’t even paying attention.

“Cat got your tongue, Rogers?” Sam commented as he patted Steve’s back. He looked down at your peacefully dozing figure and smiled. “She must’ve been exhausted out there.”

“Working twelve hours nonstop, didn’t even bother resting even when she was offered a break.”

“We’ve all had a long day. You should go rest up, too. I’ll watch over her. Okay?”

“Sam—”

_“GO_. Seriously. _Rest.”_

“No.”

“Lovesick soldiers,” Sam rubbed his forehead with one hand, “the things being in love can do to you. Alright. But you’re going to eat the sandwich that I bring you, no arguments.”

“Fine.”

Ten minutes later, he came back with a chicken panini. “Eat. That’s an order.”

Reluctantly, Steve took the sandwich, taking a bite. He finished ten minutes later, throwing the wrapper into the trash can before going to talk to Dr. Cho. 

“Is Y/N okay? Do I need to run some extra tests?” the Asian woman asked, concerned. “Did she get hurt anywhere?”

“A bit of heat exhaustion and injury to her left arm, but other than that, she’s alright. I took to stitching her up so I could take that work off your shoulders.”

“Thank you, Cap.”

“No problem.”

Steve pulled his chair up to your bedside again, sighing as he rested his chin in one hand and gently brushed your hair away from your face with the other. Times like these in which he saw you in a peaceful state were extremely rare, so he cherished any moment of tranquility he could get. He knew your jobs were extremely demanding and forced you to stay on your feet 25/8, but if you were tired, you hardly ever showed it. 

“You really care about her, huh.”

The super-soldier jumped about ten feet in the air as he turned around to see a sweaty but grinning Peter Parker. “Oh, hey, Queens.”

“My phone just died so Bucky went to charge it for me. What time is it?” 

He blinked a couple times before looking down at his watch. “It’s…3:43 a.m.”

“You’ve been sitting and staring at her for the past four hours?”

“It’s been four hours already?”

“Yup.”

Steve let out a sigh. “Tell Dr. Cho I’m staying here for the night, will you?”

“Uh—yessir!”

By the time Peter came back with Helen, and Natasha as well, Steve was fast asleep as well.

“Guess we can’t get him to budge,” Natasha shrugged. “It’s cute.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

When you woke up the next morning, you felt a heavy weight pressing down on your legs. Blinking to adjust your vision against the harsh white lights, you opened your eyes to see Steve, snoring softly with his head resting in your lap as one of his arms were draped over your knees.

“Rogers. Cap. Capsicle,” you gently shook him awake, “hey.”

“Yes what huh?” Steve shook his head and stretched his arms up in the air as he looked around, then at you. “Oh, you’re awake.”

“Have you been here this whole time? Shouldn’t you have gone back to the sleeping quarters with Tony and the others?”

“I decided to stay here.”

“But why? You should be getting sleep, too!”

“And you were on your feet all day yesterday. You were doing most of the work,” he pointed out. “Besides, I squeezed in a couple hours, here and there. You contracted a fever sometime between 4-5 a.m, so I had to stay awake to make sure your condition didn’t get any worse.” 

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You’re just too stubborn to admit sometimes that you actually need someone’s help. So please,” his expression softened as he placed his hand on top of yours, “just let me help you, okay? You’re tiring yourself out.”

“Mhm,” you let out a tired sigh, falling back against the pillows as he leaned over to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Thanks, Steve. You’re the best.”

“You’re welcome.”

You spoke so quietly that if it weren’t for his exceptional hearing, he wouldn’t have caught what you were saying. 

“I love you.”

He smiled softly, lacing your fingers together. “I love you too.”


End file.
